22 de octubre de 2012

Au XXIe siècle, l'amour est un SMS sans réponse.

Marc Marronnier,
L'amour Dure Trois Ans.

21 de octubre de 2012

Carmen, I just want to let you know that even if you decide not to be a housekeeper anymore, I'll always think of you as a housekeeper. Even if you, like, cure cancer, to me, you'll always be a housekeeper and I want you to know that.

Dalia,
Suburgatory.

5 de octubre de 2012

Uhhh, an ist. I've always wanted to be an ist!

Frankie Heck,

The Middle.

2 de octubre de 2012

Come on girl,
You're not even trying
Your place is a mess
And all your plants are dying
You're lying around in those sweatpants
You're staring off into the distance
Come on give me a kiss
I hate to see you like this

I hate to see you like this
Ah ah ah ah
I hate to see you like this

I don't know
What's going on in your head now,
But I think it's time
You got on up out of bed now
Let's get your phone reconnected
Let's get this room disinfected
Come on give me a kiss
I hate to see you like this

I hate to see you like this
Ah ah ah ah
I hate to see you like this

You know whatever's on your mind
It's gonna work itself out over time
But it's never gonna get much better
If you don't make a little effort
Just a little effort

Come on girl
Let's pull it together
You can't just watch infomercials forever
If you need a hand
Why don't you take mine?
Let's get you out
Into the sunshine
Come on give me a kiss
I hate to see you like this

I hate to see you like this
Ah ah ah ah
I hate to see you like this


Hate To See You Like This, 
Fountains Of Wayne.

28 de septiembre de 2012

Estar genéricamente en contra de los mercados sería casi tan raro como estar genéricamente en contra de las conversaciones entre los individuos (aun cuando algunas sean detestables y causen problemas a otros o incluso a los mismos que conversan).

Amartya Sen, 

Desarrollo & Libertad.

26 de septiembre de 2012

So you accidentally said the wrong thing... One time, I asked this blind lady when her baby was due, turns out she wasn't pregnant, and she wasn't even a lady, but he really was blind, which was good because when he went to throw his coffee at me he totally missed and he hit a real pregnant lady and I was like: "Dude, you're such a jerk, you just hit a real pregnant lady!" And then, it turns out she wasn't pregnant either, so...

Laurie,

Cougar Town.

25 de septiembre de 2012

I've read a book once, I mean, I skim it and read the jacket cover, but the point of the book was that women and, I'm sure, positive, that this applies to men as well, shouldn't wait for the perfect mate to just roll onto their lives, they should settle sometimes for Mr. or Mrs. Good Enough.

Fred,
The Pill.

14 de agosto de 2012

- Hello?

- Hi! So, listen, either you gave me the crabs or I gave you the crabs but, anyway, I have the crabs and you were inside me last week so you've got crabs too. Ah... So... 

- Jesus!

- You didn't feel itchy?

- Yeah, but I thought it was laundry detergent...

- No. Crabs. Ah... So... Fuck you! or Sorry, I don't know which one.

- Bye.

Louie & one night stand,
Louie.

7 de agosto de 2012

Se puede vivir una larga vida sin aprender nada. Se puede durar sobre la tierra sin agregar ni cambiar una pincelada de paisaje. Se puede simplemente no estar muerto sin estar tampoco vivo. Basta con no amar, nunca, a nada, a nadie. Es la única receta infalible para no sufrir. Yo aposté mi vida a todo lo contrario y hacía muchos años que definitivamente había dejado de importarme si lo perdido era más que lo ganado. Creía que ya estábamos a mano, el mundo y yo, ahora que ninguno de los dos respetaba demasiado al otro. Pero un día descubrí que todavía podía hacer algo para estar completamente vivo antes de estar definitivamente muerto. Entonces, me puse en movimiento.

José,
Caballos Salvajes.

6 de agosto de 2012

Elle est incroyable cette fille! Je me demande ce qu'elle va prendre. Elle hésite. J'adore les femmes qui hésitent. Qu'est-ce qu'elle va choisir? Un café? Non, non, non, non, c'est trop banale... et bon, c'est toujours mieux qu'un déca. Il n'y a rien de plus sinistre qu'un déca. Un thé? Non, non, ce qui serait bien ce serait un jus, et non pas n'importe quel. Un truc trop exotique, la papaille, la goyave, ça fait peur... faudrait pas non plus un truc trop classique comme l'orange ou la pomme. Non, le mieux ce serait un jus d'apricot. Voilà, si elle prend un jus d'apricot, je me lève et je l'aborde.

François,
La Délicatesse.

31 de julio de 2012

Quand tu étais petite, toi, tu voulais être astronaute, marchande de fleurs, de glaces et de bonbons à la fraise, mais à la fraise uniquement. Tu voulais être trapèziste, rêveuse ou chef d'orchestre. Moi, je voulais être princesse, pilote d'avion, marchande de sable et championne, mais championne de tout. Maman, elle, elle voulait être heureuse. Je crois que parfois elle l'est. Quand on est tous ensemble, je crois qu'elle l'est. Et puis, mon fils, plus tard, il veut être Zorro. 

On n'est pas devenu ce qu'on rêvait d'être, mais on s'en sorte plutôt pas mal. On rit, on joue, on apprend, on est curieux, déçu, en colère, exalté, créatif, on s'ennuie, on s'amuse, on avance, on se trompe, on profite, on est vivant, quoi! Et on vit tous ensemble.

Lisa,

Les Adoptés.

30 de julio de 2012

La voix je dirais, le son de leurs voix, c'est ça qui me manque le plus. C'est ça qu'on oublie en premier. Après, il y a les visages, plus flous, moins prècis, il reste les photos, personne ne vieillit. Même les souvenirs s'effacent, on les transforme, on les rend plus beaux. Mais la voix, une fois que tu l'as perdue, tu ne la retrouves pas. 

Marine, 

Les Adoptés.

24 de julio de 2012

Your love for me is not debatable 

Your sexual appetite's insatiable 

You never ever make me waitable, 

Delectable, inflatable you. 

You don't have problems with your weight at all 

You never steal food off my plate at all 

I never have to masturbate at all 

Unstoppable, inflatable you. 

You never seem to menstruate at all 

So you're not angry when I'm late at all 

I feel permanently felatable 

Unpoppable, inflatable you. 

With you in my arms I feel we could just float away 

With the right kind of gas I might even try it some day 

In this ocean of life I'm never afraid I might drown 

We could just float forever whatever the weather 

Whenever my inflatable lover's around. 

Your thighs and buttocks are so holdable 

You always do what you are toldable 

And if we argue you're just foldable 

Controlable consolable you. 

My mates all reckon you are suitable 

I took you 'round to watch the footable 

And Steve and Gary said you're rootable 

Refutable, commutable you.

You're never sensitive or tickley 

When I rub you my skin goes prickerly 

It's known as static electricity 

Felicity when I'm kissing you. 

Your skin is so smooth I couldn't afford you with hair

You have all the holes real girls have got plus one for the air 

Your problems are simple, I don't need my Master's in Psych 

To know if you get down I just perk you right up 

With a couple of squirts from the pump off my bike. 

You never wake up when I snore at all 

A trait which I find quite adorable 

You have a box and you are storable 

Ignorable, back-doorable you. 

Any sexual position's feasible 

Although you don't bend at the knees at all 

Your hooters are so firm and squeezable 

Increasable, un-creasable you. 

Now birth control is not an issue 

I clean it all up with a tissue 

I bet my jealous friend all wish you 

We're insatiably inflatably theirs. 

Don’t let me down. 

Don’t let me down. 

Don’t let me down. 

And I won’t let you down.

Inflatable You, 
Tim Minchin.

22 de julio de 2012

Tra tutti i giorni in cui potevi partire
Perché hai pensato proprio al lunedì.
Gli uccelli cantano, l’estate è alle porte
tempo di mare e di granite al limone.
Chissà quale fine sarcasmo d’autore
Avresti sfoderato senza giri di parole.

Viva l’Italia, il calcio, il testosterone,
gli inciuci e le buttane in preda all’ormone
a noi ci piace assai la televisione
proprio l’oggetto – dico – esposto in salone
chissà quale amara considerazione
avresti concepito in virtù del pudore.

Mandaci una cartolina e una ridente foto di te
Che prendi il sole sulla spiaggia
Con la solita camicia bianca
Ed il giornale aperto sulla pagina sportiva
Mentre stai sul bagnasciuga
Beato tra le braccia di un tramonto.

Tra tutti i giorni in cui potevi morire
Perché hai pensato proprio al lunedì
Strade caotiche e litigi agli incroci
Quanti cafoni su veicoli osceni
Chissà quale fine sarcasmo d’autore
Avresti sfoderato in questa triste occasione.

Mandaci una cartolina e una ridente foto di te
Che prendi il sole sulla spiaggia
Con la solita camicia bianca
Ed il giornale aperto sulla pagina sportiva
Mentre stai sul bagnasciuga
canticchiando una canzone romantica.

Mandaci una cartolina e una ridente foto di te
Che prendi il sole sulla spiaggia
Con la solita camicia bianca.

Mandaci una cartolina e una ridente foto di te
Mentre stai sul bagnasciuga
E cogli con stupore il nuovo giorno.



Mandaci Una Cartolina, 
Carmen Consoli.

17 de julio de 2012

Avec François, le temps file à une allure démentielle, on dirait qu'il a la capacité de sauter des jours, de créer des semaines sans jeudis. Est-ce que c'est ça le bonheur, quand il n'y a plus de jeudis?

Nathalie, 
La Délicatesse.

16 de julio de 2012

You know the best thing about necrophilia? You don't have to bring flowers. Usually, they're already there.

George Carlin.

13 de julio de 2012

- Ok, you are supposed to make me feel better, not worse.

-You are confusing me with Prozac.

Jane Bingum & Joan Rivers,

Drop Dead Diva.

12 de julio de 2012

I like the smell of petrol 

I love the taste of booze 

But I hate my love for you 

Yeah I hate my love for you 

I like Johnny Cash 

Singing "A Boy Named Sue" 

But I hate my love for you 

Yeah I hate my love for you 

You're worse that drink 

You're worse than crack 

For you they should bring hanging back 

And I should be the one to string you up 

I hate the sound of cliche 

As it begins to call 

But I hate my love for you 

Most of all 

Hate my love for you, 

hate my love for you 

I'd tell your ma 

I'd tell your pa 

But you don't come from Arkansas 

And I can't send you back where you belong 

I like the way you're standing 

In just your high heeled shoes 

But I hate my love for you 

Yeah I hate my love my love for you 

I hate my love for you 

Yeah I hate my love for you

Hate My Love,
The Proclaimers.

11 de julio de 2012

- Let me ask you, if you were a bad kisser, which one would you rather hear from your girlfriend?

A) Ew, no.

B) Would you like to profuse this pamphlet I found on kissing? or

C) How about we take a break from kissing and go get a froyo?

- As much as I love a good pamphlet, I'll go with froyo. Froyo.

Sue & Brick,
The Middle.

6 de julio de 2012

Estoy tratando de decir
Y no me salen las palabras.
Estoy tratando de decirte
Me gusta cuando me hablas.

Estoy intentando resolver 
Un complicado crucigrama 
Pregunta doce horizontal 
¿Cuando te llevo a la cama?

Estoy probando ser feliz
Y no morir en el intento
Pues sólo trato de vivir
Y disfrutar tus momentos.

Estoy intentando descubrir
Como si fuera un adivino
La fórmula del elixir
De nuestro mudo destino

Te estoy tratando de advertir
Que te manejes con cautela
Que algunos tratos en la vida
Dejan profunda secuela

Estoy tratando de cantar
Que te quiero
Que por quererte besar
Mi vida me desespero

Estoy tratando de explicar
Mis verdaderos sentimientos
Es muy difícil de lograr
Pero yo al menos lo intento
Es imposible de lograr
Pero lo intento, lo intento
Estoy tratando de decirte, mi amor,
Que te querré para siempre.



Jaime Urrutia & Andrés Calamaro, 
Tratando.

21 de junio de 2012

Now, you wouldn't know it for some of the things I've said over the years but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm alright with them for a little while but once you get up passed around a minute, minute and a half, I've got to get the fuck out of there. And my reason for this, my reason is for one that you may share possibly. I have a very low tolerance level for stupid bullshit.

It's Bad For Ya,
George Carlin.

19 de junio de 2012

Hace siete años mi novia viajó a ver a sus padres a Nueva Jersey, Estados Unidos. Se suponía que era por 20 días, un mes. A pesar de lo mucho que le dolió, me llamó, cobro revertido, para avisarme que ya no volvería, que ese era su lugar y que se había dado cuenta que era muy americana. Una genia. Coincidentemente, se sintió muy americana cuando Argentina devaluó. La verdad es que acá tenía pocas cosas que la ataran, solo su perra y yo. A ella también eligió dejarla, pero con las mejores intenciones. Dijo: "va a sufrir mucho el cambio, le va a costar adaptarse a otro idioma..."

- Sabés que me pone nervioso los aviones. Me sentiría más tranquilo si llevas la piedra que uso yo cada vez que viajo.

- Viajaste una sola vez en tu vida.
- Bueno, sirvió. Es mi cábala. Es por mí.

- Bueno.

En un mismo instante perdí a la mujer que amaba y la capacidad de volar.

Martín y su ex.
Medianeras.

18 de junio de 2012

¿Hay algo más descorazonador en el siglo XXI que no tener mails en la bandeja de entrada? Por suerte, me escribió un amigo de Omán que está circunstancialmente de visita en Yemén y me pide una mano para sacar 9.5 millones de dólares de un banco local. Hace mucho que no me escribía. Me parece una amistad imprudente e interesada.

Martín,
Medianeras.

16 de junio de 2012

He llegado a la conclusión de que estas citas son como los combos de McDonald's. En las fotos todo se ve más rico, grande y apetitoso que en la realidad. Cada vez que voy a una cita sufro la misma decepción que frente a un Big Mac.

Martín,
Medianeras.

15 de junio de 2012

You know, I read this article that said if you smile all the time you could trick your brain into thinking that you're happy.

Marissa,
Wanderlust.

9 de junio de 2012

Te he dejado en la reserva de mis sueños
Pero el sueño no concibo

Y No Te Olvido,
Café Quijano & Materia Prima.

6 de junio de 2012

Digging a hole and the walls are caving inBehind me,Air's getting thin but I'm trying,I'm breathing in,Come find me
It hasn't felt like this beforeIt hasn't felt like home...before you
And I know it's easy to say, but it's harder to feel this way,And I miss you more than I should, than I thought I could,I can't get my mind off of you
I know you're scared that I'll soon be over it,That's part of it all,Part of the beauty of falling in love with you,Is the fear you wont fall
It hasn't felt like this beforeIt hasn't felt like home...before you
And I know it's easy to say, but it's harder to feel this wayAnd I miss you more than I should, than I thought I could,I can't get my mind off of you
And I hate the phone,But I wish you'd call,Thought being alone,Was better than, was better than...
And I know it's easy to say, but it's harder to feel this wayAnd I miss you more than I should, than I thought I could,I can't get my mind off of you.

The Fear You Won't Fall,

Joshua Radin.

5 de junio de 2012

Quoi que tu fasses
Je ne sais pas ce que ça remplace
Et derrière nous
C'est encore à l'ombre
Faut-il encore qu'on raconte
que quelque chose nous revienne
Faut-il qu'on soit seul sur terre
ici aussi

Boire pour la soif
Je ne sais pas ce qui de nous deux restera
Tu dis mais je ne regarde pas
Je n'ai jamais vu la mer
Mais j'en ai vu des noyés
Comment fais-tu pour oublier
pour oublier

Et la pluie qui revient
dans nos voix
Pas une chanson où je ne pense à toi
Dans ce monde inhabitable
Il vaut mieux danser sur les tables
À port coton qu'on se revoit
qu'on se revoit

Et quoi que je fasse
Je ne sais pas ce que ça remplace
Et derrière nous
C'est encore à l'ombre
Aller auprès du phare
Et la vie est sans phare
À port coton qu'on se revoit
Dans ce monde inhabitable
Il vaut mieux danser sur les tables
À port coton qu'on se revoit
qu'on se revoit

Port Coton,
Zaz.

26 de mayo de 2012

- So what you say? Accept my friend thingy...

- Sorry, mom, I didn't get a friend thingy from you...

- Yeah, you know, they have a lot of blocks in there to protect kids from weirdos.

- Mmm... Ok, god, good, I'll send it again.

- Great!

- Please do.

- Please don't.

- We've got her request the first time but ignore it. I can't have her round there snooping around seeing what I'm doing at parties.

- Or getting pictures of us on family vacations wearing dorky clothes...

Claire, Hayley & Alex,
Modern Family.

22 de mayo de 2012

I just don't understand why I need to learn the skill, outside the gym class, when will I ever need to dodge a ball?

Brick Heck,

The Middle.